It was another one of those days. Operating on entirely too little sleep, the morning was busy, the toddler was whiny, the baby was fussy and sleeping less than usual. The to-do list was long, and seemingly nothing was getting accomplished.
When the kids all finally made it to nap time, I got to my baking. As I stirred the cookie dough, my mind turned over with the usual questions. Am I disciplining the kids too much? Or too little? Maybe they aren't sleeping enough. Should I put them to bed sooner? Should I let the baby cry more? Less? Am I spending enough time with the kids? Am I making enough time to do school with our oldest? Are they getting too much free play time or is all the play time a good thing? Am I cooking healthy enough or is it all too healthy? Do they have too many vaccines or too few? Do I spend too much time cleaning the house or too little? Am I reaching out enough to people who don't know Jesus or do I need to focus on our kids more? Am I talking to them about their sin enough? Am I talking to them about my sin enough? Am I sharing the gospel with them enough? Am I showing enough grace? Will they ever become Christians?
And on and on my thoughts rolled onto a thousand topics, never feeling settled about a single one. My mind searched my knowledge of the Bible, looking for a verse or two to comfort me that I am doing the best I can, and that it is good enough for God.
But such a verse was not coming.
But God in his kindness, did point me to something in His word. "My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Maybe sometimes its good to be a strong mom. But I find that in my weakness, I depend on God more. I pray for wisdom on naptimes and bedtimes and meal plans and school plans. I pray for help to repent of sin in front of my kids. Most importantly, I pray for God to save them.
In reality, we are all weak moms, but only some of us realize it. And seeing our weakness opens up room for God to give us His power. And there is no other power on which I would rather depend.